Avoid These 5 Parenting Sins

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When a child starts feeling brightness and darkness- several colors of the world, he finds himself dependent on his parents. He demands complete support in terms of food, shelter and emotional and physical security. If any of the parent fails to satisfy the demands, the child turns to be emotionally unstable or unhealthy. Thus, to parent a child in the proper manners-- the very responsibility of each parent-- requires sincere commitments and dedications. However, the cost of mis-parenting, not being committed and dedicated to a child, is huge and unpredictable as well. 

The common saying, "the good the virtue; the bad the sin" is worth noticing. When parents are committed and dedicated to their child, they commit virtue and when parents are not committed and dedicated, they commit sins. 

Here I will discuss the the five major sins most of the parents do in front of their children that separate the parents' words from their actions and hinder the child learning process. Therefore, you should avoid these following five sins.

• Inconsistent Parental Love: 

 The common saying, "No one can love a child as exactly as the parents do" does not seem fit in the contemporary society where the parents are unaware of themselves: their actions vary from their words. Most of the parents claim that they love their children more than any other person, but their children as they grow found to be unself-desciplined. Such unself-desciplineness happens when they regularly claim their love in front of their children and fail to prove; they fail to keep the promises they made before their children. Their children may consciously believe or temporarily cling to what their parents claimed. However, unconsciously the children are very well aware of the inconsistent Parental Love and the scale of variation between their words and actions. 

Such Inconsistency in the parental love makes the children feel unloved and devalued. It may also ruin the Child's self-esteem if it continues throughout the childhood. The feeling of being valuable-"I am a valuable person"- is essential to mental health and is a cornerstone of self-discipline. It is a direct product of parental love. 

• Not Devoting the Required Time: 

To what degree a child is being valued by its parents can be ascertained through the time and the quality of time the parents spend with their child. If the required time meets the criterion to help the child sort out love, affection and situation their parents do and the quality of time help the child grow intellectually and physically by each passing day. The child feels unwanted and invaluable if the parents do this sin while parenting a child. This sin is worst among all others because a person living in this word deserves the required time, attention and its quality; firstly from their parents.

• Dominating the Child: 

Dominating parenting style creates lots of confusion in a child when it comes to child care and growth. The parents with dominating parenting styles differ them from their words and actions. They ask their child "Do as say, not as I do". However, their child fail to comprehend while observing their parents variation in claims. i.e., If a parent asks its child to not fight with any other child, then the child while noticing their parents behaviors and claims makes the decision. If a child found its parents fighting with each other, then it becomes confused and worried. The child fails to prevent itself fighting with others. If a child sees his parents day in and day out behaving with self-discipline, restraint, dignity and a capacity to order their own lives, then the child will come to feel in the deepest fibers of his being that this is the way to live.

• Abandonment by Parents: 

To the child, abandonment by its parents is the equivalent of death. Most parents, even when they are otherwise relatively ignorant or callous, are instinctively sensitive to their children's fear of abandonment and will therefore, day in and day out, hundreds and thousands of times, offer their children needed reassurance: "You know Mommy and Daddy aren't going to leave you behind"; "Of course Mommy and Daddy will come back to get you"; "Mommy and Daddy aren't going to forget about you." If these words are matched by deeds, month in and month out, year in and year out, by the time of adolescence the child will have lost the fear of abandonment and in its stead will have a deep inner feeling that the world is a safe place in which to be and protection will be there when it is needed. With this internal sense of the consistent safety of the world, such a child is free to delay gratification of one kind or another, secure in the knowledge that the opportunity for gratification, like home and parents, is always there, available when needed.

• Failure as an Executive:

Parents are executives, and despite the fact that they are usually ill-prepared for it, their task can be every bit as complex as directing a company or corporation. And like the army executives, most parents will perceive problems in their children or in their relationship with their children for months or years before they take any effective action, if they ever do. "We thought maybe he would grow out of it," the parents say as they come to the child psychiatrist with a problem of five years' duration. And with respect for the complexity of parenting, it must be said that parental decisions are difficult, and that children often do "grow out of it." But it almost never hurts to try to help them grow out of it or to look more closely at the problem. And while children often "grow out of it," often they do not; and as with so many problems, the longer children's problems are ignored, the larger they become and the more painful and difficult to solve.